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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: The 13 Types of People You’ll Meet in College
Not listed: That Guy. The Walking College Stereotype Every sitcom and movie involving college students likes to portray them as rigidly focused students looking for their way in life during the day,...
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30 More Things That Go Through The Mind Of Every Northwestern Student...
Is it true that Morty once took Margaret Thatcher to a nice dinner and never called her back? Because 33 things that go through the mind of every Northwestern student (almost) every day just wasn’t...
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If The Name Of Every Kentucky Derby Horse Was A Sexual Maneuver: 2013 Edition
For information on The Secretariat, watch any episode of Mad Men. Last year, we received nearly ZERO death threats after turning every Kentucky Derby horse’s name into a sexual maneuver. Based on that...
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The 5 Artists Most Likely to Fill the Final Two Dillo Day Slots
As Dillo Day approaches, the Northwestern Student body at large is counting the days and wondering: who will be the final two acts? With the announcements that both Walk the Moon and Danny Brown will...
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7 Other Positions ASG Failed to Confirm
One Northwestern. One Shitshow. In the wake of a heated Associated Student Government Senate meeting last Wednesday night, ASG President Ani Ajith is scrambling to fill numerous vacancies for cabinet...
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9 Milestones You Hit in the 9 Years The Office has been on TV
Said everyone when The Office stopped running. For those of us who are soon-to-be rising seniors, The Office has been a fixture in our lives since we were greasy haired seventh graders trying to cope...
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Sherman Ave Freshman Guide: Everything Else
Deering Forum So you’ve been accepted to Northwestern. Big fucking deal. So was just about everyone who writes for Sherman Ave AND Chet Haze (who may or may not also write for Sherman Ave). You have...
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10 Reasons Why Memorial Day Sucks in New York City
The world’s most bitching location for a cookout. Tourists. Suck. So. Hard. So yeah, technically I kind of am one since I’m only here for three months on my JR, but I mean is it so hard to not take...
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The Netflix Treatment: Which Other Shows Should Be Resurrected?
Arrested Development caused more of an uproar this weekend than an Apache-themed party at the Arizona capitol building, making every social media account the dumping ground for half-assed references to...
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The Six People You Drunk Dialed on Dillo
Like you were drinking martinis on Dillo Day… So you survived Dillo. Congrats. But you should check the call log on your phone once you dig it out of the lakefill mud. You blackout-called a ton of...
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How to Feed Yourself and Your Unpaid Internship
There’s nothing like the sweet flavor of an unpaid internship. Seriously. There literally is nothing like that. Unpaid internships taste like shit, because most internships boil down to three-plus...
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27 Thoughts That Go Through the Mind of a College Student on Summer Break...
Nothing goes with a cigarette quite like a coronarita and the threat of VD. 1. “I wonder how many times I’ll have to scan this same file.” 2. “No, no – I didn’t come here for a learning experience, I...
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Your Fourth of July Playlist
On this day, 4352984705 years ago our Founding Fathers Parents (gender is a social construct) fought and died on the plains of Sinai to defeat Lenin’s Nazi advance so that we might , once a summer,...
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Five Lessons I’ve Learned On Summer Break
Also coincidentally where Coors Light comes from. “You know nothing, BJ Taintz.” You’re not quite right, hypothetical reader with the voice of Ygritte. I know that it’s summer right now, for one thing....
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3 Images From 90’s Cartoons That Prove We Are The Most F*cked Up Generation...
Everyone claims that their generation had the best of everything. My parents claim that they had the best music (they didn’t), and my grandparents claim they had the best wartime draft (they did)....
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Four Northwestern-Themed Sharknado Sequels That Need To Be Made
Last week, Internet informed me of a great documentary called “Sharknado” about what happens when sharks have sex with tornadoes. Now I think it’s time that we brought the matter a little closer to...
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46 Buzzfeed Articles That Will Probably Be Written
Four puppies that think you should reread “The Awakening.” 16 Semen Stains That Look Just Like Ryan Gosling 30 Adorable Kittens That Will Give You An Erection If You’re Into Bestiality 8 Pictures of...
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4 Places That Are Worse Than Detroit
The Iconic “Spirit of Detroit” monument. In its left and right hands are Detroit mascots Ulrich the Urchin and “The Naked Nicklesons”, respectively. Unless you owe somebody $18 billion, you have more...
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Putting Your Best Foot Forward: Meeting Your BF’s*+ Parents At Dinner (Not at...
Never display fear. Only self-loathing. In this list, I will pull from my vast! dating experience to help you conquer one of dating’s biggest challenges: meeting the parents. Okay, so if you’re all...
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Why Northwestern Should’ve Been Named America’s Top Party School
The Princeton Review is out this week with their annual ranking of America’s top party schools, and once again they’ve really fucked this thing up in every way imaginable. IOWA?! IOWA?!?! Come...
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